The Art of Not Taking Things Personally: Why Being Offended is a Choice

Asgar-DhanjiThe writer, Asgar Jafferali Dhanji (Dar es Salaam, Tanzania) served as the Secretary-General of the Africa Federation for two – 3-years terms.  He served as JIBA Vice Chairman – with a particular passion to raise funds and offer Micro Finance to our Community – for low-income, underprivileged, startups, Business loans, individuals, and small enterprises — thereby giving opportunities to grow economically.  He is the founder of Imaan Finance Ltd — the First Islamic Finance Institution in Tanzania.  and has also served in Dar es Salaam Jamaat’s Arbitration Committee as well as a Board member of Ebrahim Haji Charitable Hospital – with a particular passion for the project of building the new hospital.  He is now a motivational/Inspirational speaker giving regular Saturday Fajr lectures at Dar Imambara.

Being Offended


f you are easily offended, you are going to struggle on the road to success.
By accident or design, people can be quite hurtful: like – overlooked for an invite or comment on your body look or weight or just a rude remark!

If you take everything personally, you may not have friends!
Bear in mind that whatever people do and say tends to be more about them than it is about you.
“What we say and do in life is a reflection of ourselves – we transfer our feelings and beliefs onto the people around us”.

When someone is at peace inside themselves it is usually projected in how they interact with others and treat other people. They will often come across as emphatic, calm and understanding.

Conversely, when someone is angry or bitter with their own life, they can be cold and mean in their communication with those closest to them.

If someone offends you, intentionally or not, try NOT to show your feelings.
Try to get into the conscious habit of responding to offence by a smile, count to 10, or politely walk away.
There may be moments when you need to respond if someone has insulted or offended your parents, your team or your family, in that case, respond in a calm and mature way . Tough, but show your magnanimity.

“When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering”–Don Miguel Ruiz.

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