Controlling your emotions is an asset

Asgar-DhanjiThe writer, Asgar Jafferali Dhanji (Dar es Salaam, Tanzania) served as the Secretary-General of the Africa Federation for two – 3-years terms.  He served as JIBA Vice Chairman – with a particular passion to raise funds and offer Micro Finance to our Community – for low-income, underprivileged, startups, Business loans, individuals, and small enterprises — thereby giving opportunities to grow economically.  He is the founder of Imaan Finance Ltd — the First Islamic Finance Institution in Tanzania.  and has also served in Dar es Salaam Jamaat’s Arbitration Committee as well as a Board member of Ebrahim Haji Charitable Hospital – with a particular passion for the project of building the new hospital.  He is now a motivational/Inspirational speaker giving regular Saturday Fajr lectures at Dar Imambara.



his is a story about a car wash manager…

A man with his new car took it for a car wash. Apparently, the trunk was not vacuumed. He complained to the staff but to no avail, as the staff said that they only wash cars.

The car owner demanded to see the manager. He spitted out in anger, yelling in a harsh arrogant tone.
The manager in a gentle, undefensive tone then asked him if he was finished. The manager then in a calm tone told him he would go and vacuum the trunk even though they only clean the exterior.

Finally, the manager in a kind but firm voice asked the car owner if he could ask him a question. Upon being given the nod, he asked “What makes you think you have the right to speak to me or anyone in a harsh, demanding manner? The car owner was stunned/embarrassed, realising nothing gave him that right!

Everyone deserves to be treated with respect, even if he is justifiably angry or disappointed.
Everyone has his/her right to preserve his/her dignity.

Often we find people are rude to flight attendants, shop assistants, waitresses, or servants. Perhaps people believe if someone is doing his or her job he ought to put up with snobby customers, travellers or arrogant bosses.

Flip thinking dictates that if someone is doing a job, you are the beneficiary of that performance, that’s all the reason to speak to him or her with gratitude and respect.

Rudeness perpetuates rudeness. Incivility is a virus, you don’t realize you are passing it on.
Don’t react if someone snaps at you or is rude, allow even five seconds before you respond (not react), it will most likely (that few seconds of thinking) guide your tongue to a ‘mannered’ response.
Rude actions trigger rude responses, creating a big negative spiral or culture.

Rudeness emotionally is up-setting, a stressor, an attack on identity.

“Controlling your emotions is one of the greatest assets anyone can possess.”

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