importance of fatherhood

The importance of fatherhood: a letter to my Baba

The importance of fatherhood

Mahnoor Surahio, courtesy of The Muslim Vibe


Thank you, Baba, for everything that went unnoticed. 

We often forget the role our amazing fathers play in our lives. A mother carries her child in her womb, whereas a father carries his child in his mind; this is how things go well in life. In our thick and thin, in our ups and downs, their shoulder seems the most peaceful place to relax on. It is their love and support that brings magical strength to our shaky hands and fearful minds. 

Blessed are those who have their fathers as best friends with whom they can share anything and get an instant recipe to resolve the problems of life. My father always soothes my messy mind with his peaceful and spiritual knowledge. I am blessed with such a beautiful soul as my father. A learned person who stands by my side always. Raised me like a son, and permitted me to do anything that I wanted to explore in life. He is the man who asked Allah to bless him with a daughter as his first child. 

Every amazing father tries their level best to raise their children in the best possible manner. We often forget that they also are human beings with emotions – just because they don’t share doesn’t mean they are not vulnerable. 

Fathers are great at everything but here are a few things that I am reminded of when I think of my father:  

  1. Emotional support: Most fathers are the best listeners – when children are emotionally drained, fathers hold their hand and listen to what they have to say and extend support. They are the source of advice and consistent support in life. 
  2. Financial stability: Many fathers work day and night to provide everything to their children before they ask. It is not easy to earn income or make a living, and many times they are behind the scene of every ease, struggling every day to make you live a comfortable life. 
  3. Encouraging independence: A mentally strong father will let their children live their life the way they wanted to, and promote the idea of independence to make their children self-sufficient and strong enough to face any challenge in life. 
  4. Being a source of wisdom: Their guidance in life is priceless. If you have a father who provides you with the best life advice, trust me you are the luckiest. 
  5. Teaching life skills: Fathers help teach their children basic life lessons, and children learn a lot by looking at their role models. Having learned parents is a blessing. Such parents will never support their child in his/her wrongdoings. They will always protest and stop their child as much as they can – this, we come to learn, is one of the greatest blessings. 
  6. Career Advice: Fathers can also help you choose your career when the path seems vague, they hold the torch in their hands until you find the clear way because they have life experience, and they have gone through all the ups and downs of life – so never ignore their advice. 
  7. Partner in enjoyment: Oftentimes, rightly or wrongly, many mothers remain busy with in-home chores – so a lot of children expect more from fathers when it comes to playtime. Memories of my father taking us for outings or watching a movie with us will stay with me forever. 

A supportive and loving father can help their child develop a healthy sense of self-worth and confidence. Thank you, Baba, for making me a person who is not hurtful in any way to anyone. 

Every day counts – from taking you to school and fulfilling every unnecessary demand of yours. A father never gets bothered by the burning sun or blood-freezing cold; he is there for you. He is that pillar that never gets shattered by any storm just to protect you, and if you have a father like that standing behind you; you are the luckiest person. 

Fathers are not perfect: just like anyone else, fathers make mistakes too. Don’t expect perfectness from them – sometimes they will not motivate you in your dreams or support you for what you wanted to be; sometimes they take time to understand your language and give them that time. 

In the end, I wanted to write something for those whose fathers are far away. Nobody can fill that vacant place of your father in life because primary relations are primary and they cannot be replaced. Every day there must be thousands of things you go through that remind you of your father. Just remind yourself of one thing: they are just physically absent, not spiritually. If they are taken back then surrender to God’s will and do all the good deeds in this world that can be fruitful for them in that world. 

Happy Father’s Day!

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