Personal Development

Learn the Wisdom of compromises

The writer, Asgar Jafferali Dhanji (Dar es Salaam, Tanzania) served as the Secretary-General of the Africa Federation for two – 3-years terms.  He served as JIBA Vice Chairman – with a particular passion to raise funds and offer Micro Finance to our Community – for low-income, underprivileged, startups, Business loans, individuals, and small enterprises — thereby giving opportunities to grow economically.  He is the founder of Imaan Finance Ltd — the First Islamic Finance Institution in Tanzania.  and has also served in Dar es Salaam Jamaat’s Arbitration Committee as well as a Board member of Ebrahim Haji Charitable Hospital – with a particular passion for the project of building the new hospital.  He is now a motivational/Inspirational speaker giving regular Saturday Fajr lectures at Dar Imambara.

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W

e love to express “Win-win” scenarios. It results from compromises – but challenging decisions like changing the house, jobs or getting married, or having children – compromises can be hard.

These choices go to the heart of who we are – our ambitions, dreams, and life goals – things that symbolise our identity. It is not easy to compromise. But compromise is essential for the sake of the people close to you and the important relationships in your life. Such serious scenarios call for mature discussion, weighing all the pros and cons and finding a solution to reach compromise, not quarrels or conflicts.

Emotions and tensions can run high, creates pressure, regresses your personal development, and gives you little time to think. 

So remember:

  1. You do not have to be right. Be honest about what is motivating you – do not stubbornly hold on to the pure desire to win.
  2. Think how important the outcome is for you and how flexible you can be in searching for a compromise.
  3. Be willing to learn and change. Be creative in looking for solutions that work for both parties. Be ready to try something new. This might start with you openly sharing your feelings and concerns.
  4. Consider how important is your need to win compared to the value of relationships. If in doubt, find a compromise.
  5. The secret is in knowing when to give and take and when to hold firm.

If compromise is not possible, when your principles, values ethics, and integrity are being challenged, you should stand firm. Do not compromise even if it is a great opportunity, because your beliefs are primary to you.

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