I am your lowly, debased servant Ya Allah!
Mohamedarif Suleman (Dar es salaam, Tanzania)
I look back at my life O Lord and I feel I haven’t done enough, or at times I feel completely empty thinking that if my time is already up, did I pay attention to the reason why you sent me here? But with a positive outlook, even if I were to start over again, how would I undo the hurt I have caused others through my gaze and glare, through my tongue or though my actions?
Imam Sajjad (AS) in his celebrated du’a no31 in Saheefa Sajjadiyya, implores thus:
“Grant me Your pardon as I have come to You in confession
Raise me from the stumbling block of sin as I have humbled my spirit before You”
And again in another place,
“Give me grace for actions that may wash off the taint of guilt from me
Let me die in Your creed and the credd of Your apostle, Muhammad (SAW), when You make me to die
O Lord, I repent unto You in this situation of my great sins and the small, of the open wrongs, the hidden ones and my old errors”
It is then my hope, Ya Allah, that through my acceptance and recognition of those actions that You forbade me from, I will have moved from this lowly debased position to a higher and better one. Thereafter, I have fervent hope O my Lord, that Your forgiveness and the peace that You will infuse in the hearts of those who crave for my destruction on account of my excessive treatment of them, You will further elevate me till the day I have to meet You and account for my deeds and actions.
My environment is getting more corrupt by the day and I have little understanding of what my actions should now be especially when every other person I meet professes to know it all, and calls people to one path or another. I rely solely on Your divine guidance, imparted upon us through the arrival of your revered messenger Muhammad (SAW). The tenets he bequeathed upon the people is a prescription for the path to success, and so I shall have to hold unto that rope tightly, though the tumultuous dynamics of this transient world may shake me beyond my tolerance.
Give me the ability to protect my faith and my belief, and to shepherd my kin and my near ones to your guided path, otherwise we will surely be in a loss. But I must confess O my Lord, that I being a wrong doer myself, I now find myself unable to tell my brother to follow Your guidance, for he thinks I am selfish and have an ulterior motive. I see inaction or actions that are essentially contrary to Your teachings and the teachings of Muhammad (SAW), both inside my community and in the larger environment. I also understand that advice and counsel in this my time, is dependent on the wealth and fortune of my forefathers, and if I do not have it, my brother refuses to take me seriously. he measures suvvess in mundane ways, in kilos and pound sof gold and silver, and in one’s ability to speak in a loud tone, but my voice is at best a hushed tone, O my Lord. So I rest my case and pray for things to change, for You to reckon us both for our actions and look at me benevolently, and with love for my inaction is not voluntary O Allah, but a question of adverse circumstance.