The writer, Asgar Jafferali Dhanji (Dar es Salaam, Tanzania) served as the Secretary-General of the Africa Federation for two – 3-years terms. He served as JIBA Vice Chairman – with a particular passion to raise funds and offer Micro Finance to our Community – for low-income, underprivileged, startups, Business loans, individuals, and small enterprises — thereby giving opportunities to grow economically. He is the founder of Imaan Finance Ltd — the First Islamic Finance Institution in Tanzania. and has also served in Dar es Salaam Jamaat’s Arbitration Committee as well as a Board member of Ebrahim Haji Charitable Hospital – with a particular passion for the project of building the new hospital. He is now a motivational/Inspirational speaker giving regular Saturday Fajr lectures at Dar Imambara.
Ego
B
eing right and defending our positions takes an enormous amount of mental energy and often alienates us from the people in our lives.
Needing to be right – or needing someone else to be wrong- encourages others to become defensive, and puts pressure on us to keep defending.
Many believe that it is their job to show others that their points of view are incorrect, and in doing so the person they are correcting is going to appreciate it, or at least learn something. Wrong.
The truth is, all of us hate to be corrected. We all want our position to be respected and understood by others. Well, being heard is one of the greatest desires of the human heart.
And those who listen are the most loved/respected. Those who are in the habit of correcting others are resented.
Of course, sometimes you need to be right – say in some philosophical positions. Here it is important to speak your mind. But simply the habit of wanting or needing to be right – could be your ego creeping in!
Try not to have a habit of ‘conversational editing’, let go, and allow their statements to stand, they will appreciate you more.
You will discover the joy of participating and witnessing other people’s happiness which is far more rewarding than a battle of egoes.
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