A simple thought from The Community on Friday: To wind up the festive season, a friend goes to an eatery, and is unfortunately, accommodated next to a family with kids. Not to be misunderstood, the friend likes children, but admittedly is allergic to uncontrolled pandemonium. And as he was just taking deep breaths while waiting for his ordered menu to materialise, amidst the relentless shouting of the kids, he saw that underneath where one of them sat, the floor was full of dispersed rice morsels. The whole scenario, utterly filthy, he saw the parents – two couples, busy chatting in loud tones, completely unhindered by the chaos. As my friend turned away, he saw another large family had just arrived, and their loud talking was particularly enveloping, as their style of ordering resembled the rough overtures of a slum tea room.
These examples are aplenty, where behaviour in social settings is going from bad to worse, and the generation that is now in adulthood, perhaps bunked etiquette classes during their time and in turn are clueless as to the guidance to offer their children. Savage dining mannerisms which simply spread filth and disease, are maybe as well practised at home. Lack of regard for others leads them to speak loudly wherever they go.
In 2013, Newsweek published this interesting piece “Why children need parents who provide guidance” – A strange notion fashionable in the 1990s held that parents—or at least parenting—didn’t really have much to do with the way kids wound up; genes determined just about everything. It was, to say the least, a controversial thesis based on selective research, but like most fads that allow people to sidestep responsibility, it gained an enthusiastic following. Today such genetic absolutism has gone the way of the dodo and the dotcom bubble, and parenting is once again understood—and this should come as no surprise—to be a key element determining the future success or failure of children. In a new study for the Brookings Center on Children and Families, Richard V. Reeves and Kimberly Howard sum up research showing just how advantageous it is for kids to grow up in homes where, for instance, they are exposed to thousands, rather than hundreds, of words a day. The children of strong parents who offer constant attention and guidance are much more likely to succeed in school and their careers. The authors argue that, given these findings, too much government policy is focused on finding ways to educate young children despite parental shortcomings, rather than educating parents to help them do a better job raising their kids.”
Look around you, parents who behave as if they are still teenagers, still not satiated with having fun in life, still having late friend nights, still finding every excuse to eat out and go here and there. With every day, losing time to provide guidance to their children, then expecting them to turn out much better than themselves. Talk of wishful thinking! To crown the crisis, here’s a question that yoi can answer in private: what possible effect on the minds of children can it have, when they find their parents publicly celebrating their anniversary on social media, using words and statements that define their private life? What kinds of Shi’as are we turning into when with we discard this amana given to us by Allah (SWT) called children, leaving them to learn from the big bad world outside our homes? A serious matter but one I suspect will compound with time.
This initiative is made possible by the kind courtesy of Abu Baseer Eye Clinic, Bande Khuda Sponsors, G1 Security, Highways Car Hire Ltd, Max Fries, Meadows Academy, SD Dental Clinic & Ceramic Lab, SokoniAdvertiser and Xpress Rent a Car, and for the ISAALE THAWAAB of Marhumeen of Bhimji and Nayani Family, Marhuma Sarubai Abdullah, Marhum Hussein Nazarali and Marhuma Nargisbai Nazarali